i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
