Even water is tasting like jack daniels
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
