Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
