She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
