i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
