I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
nutella sex= disaster
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
