Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
