did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
whose parrot is this?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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