Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
