i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
there is puke in my bra ... again
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
