I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
