No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it was like eating out sand paper
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
