I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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