dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
