Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize