I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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