and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
