If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So many bounce houses so little time
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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