Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
