We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
