I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it hurts more in the daytime
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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