I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
