Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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