school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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