Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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