I got chris browned last night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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