All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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