You're so nebulous sometimes
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
