I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
