I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i drank out of a bidet.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
