its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
