Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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