You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize