Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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