I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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