I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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