YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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