idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
