I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she smelled like a LAN party
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
