And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
