She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
