There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
