Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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