no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The adults are the big ones right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
