I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
