Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
