You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
