i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
