Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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