I don't think brook has ever known best
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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