see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
