You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
