I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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