If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
