I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
