He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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