ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
