I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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