it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
